Too Many Goodbyes

I was pregnant with our youngest son when 9/11 happened. In the first ten years of his life, Daddy deployed 11 times. Even when he was stateside and considered “home,” Dad was often still traveling for work. The leavings were hard, but so were the homecomings. There was this unspoken pressure put on the limited time we had together. We had to make it good. We had to bond. We had to make good memories. We acted like another goodbye wasn’t already on the calendar and we tried to ignore that the countdown had already begun. All of our children struggled. I struggled. My husband struggled. It was hard to maintain bonds and attachments.

We spent money we didn’t have trying to pack missed birthdays and holidays into this emotionally fueled time. We did the best we could.  We did things and adventured in ways we may not have if we hadn’t been trying so hard.  Today we look back at those jam-packed homecoming weeks and laugh. We survived deployments AND my “have fun NOW” family outings.

The goodbyes were the hardest. Sometimes we were all emotional and sometimes we were shut down and not allowing ourselves to feel the separation as it happened. Every NSW family faces these struggles. Every couple finds their way through it…or not. Every child that has to say goodbye to their parent that often is going to have a certain level of anxiety. Our son was only two when he said it best, “Too much goodbyes Daddy.”

I remember delving into the word goodbye because it was such a part of our lives. It comes from an old English contraction of “God be with you.” Somehow knowing this is what we were actually saying to each other helped us with the partings.

During this month of the military child, we remember all of the little ones who so bravely face the separation and wave their parent goodbye, already hoping for the returning hug and hello.

SEALKIDS is devoted to these little ones and helping them through all the goodbyes their childhoods bring.

Blessings and Goodbye-

Suzanne