Guest Blog: Can You Trust Your Gut?

By Jennifer Barnhill, Chief Operating Officer - Partners in PROMISE

Sometimes we just don’t know. We look at our child with such love and remind them for the one hundredth time to “sit back down and finish their broccoli.” Or there are other times when we hear them reading and notice that they keep skipping over or mispronounce words that they should know. 

There are little moments when you wonder as a parent whether that mistake is just that, a mistake, or if there’s something going on. Most of our families who are enrolled in the EFMP already know what is going on with their child because they have moved past this process of “checking their gut” against reality.

They have been to the IEP meetings. They have filled out the paperwork. They have had their child tested and know that their struggles with reading are related to a dyslexia diagnosis or their inability to sit still is related to their ADHD. There is some freedom in knowing exactly what is going on with your child because you can at that point give them the tools they need to be successful. 

Stigma - Survey Data Tells a Story

Partners in PROMISE is a storytelling organization. We have heard these stories of confusion sent via email, phone call and through DMs. We have also seen these patterns reflected in our annual survey data. That data told us a lot about who is and is not a part of the Exceptional Family Member Program. Families who are plugged into the EFMP community had an overall feeling of connection to resources they were more likely to utilize services that were offered by the military. They were also likely to know the legal protections afforded to them through the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). 

Those who were not enrolled in EFMP said that they were not enrolled for multiple reasons. Of those surveyed who had served approximately three years or less, 40% were unfamiliar with the enrollment process, while 27% and 23% of respondents respectively said they haven't enrolled because they didn't know about EFMP and didn't know how to apply. About 20% said they had not enrolled because they believed doing so would negatively impact future military career options.

The unwritten message: Military families are still worried about the stigma of asking for help. And some don’t get the help they need as a result.

Although our survey did not examine the role stigma plays in EFMP enrollment we believe there is a relationship between how successful the Exceptional Family Member Program can be and the belief that enrollment is directly related to admitting weakness. In an operational environment weakness is seen as a liability. No community knows that more than communities like the Navy SEALS. And this hesitation related to enrollment may put these servicemembers and their family members at risk for going undiagnosed.

Partners in PROMISE conducted an interview with Dr. Jeffrey Katz, clinical psychologist who treats many military families in Virginia Beach, Virginia for our Trust Your Gut webinar series. He cited the role that genetics play in the hesitancy military families show when faced with a potential diagnosis. “The truth is a lot of SEALS have [undiagnosed] ADHD and many of their kids have ADHD. Their expectation is that people [follow orders and] do what they are supposed to do and kids just don’t work that way…‘how would I have known that this was not normal? This was what I was like as a kid.’”

“There’s pressure. There is stigma...they need to combat that.”

Studies show that military children are likely to become future recruits. If one family member is diagnosed and therefore admits “weakness” then there are implications for the entire family and their future service.

Partners in PROMISE believes data-informed storytelling will help correct these incomplete and ill informed narratives. A RAND study that suggests revising the negative language written into mental health policies “may help to minimize the likelihood that service members would feel stigmatized as a result.” Partners in PROMISE hopes to help reduce stigma in all that we do, both at the DoD level and with individual families. Education and communication are key.

Can You Trust Your Gut?

This hesitation can leave many military families with an uneasy feeling in their gut. Whether this feeling is because many are pre-or mid diagnosis or a the related stigma prevents them from getting the help they need, some just don’t know how to proceed. 

For April’s Month of the Military Child, Partners in PROMISE will feature an educational series entitled “Trust Your Gut.” The series, informed by the knowledge gaps observed from our survey, will feature experts in various subject areas ranging from ADHD, dyslexia, anxiety and depression to early childhood development.

Because the experts are all virtual now anyway we thought we’d bring them right to your laptop no appointment required! The webinar series will air on Facebook every Tuesday in April at 3 pm EST and will be shared on our website the following week for those who miss the live sessions. 

Let’s learn together and help to normalize asking for help.